WANTED – Across most counties and several newspapers –“Japanese knotweed”
It’s back with a vengeance and this time it could be personal. It’s been seen in gardens and on building land. It’s been in a Matt cartoon on the front page of The Daily Telegraph. It’s probably not very far from wherever you are. Japanese knotweed, Fallopian japonica, is sprouting again, all over the UK in the Spring sunshine, and has been spotted by all the usual suspects:-
• Homeowners – concerned about selling their property
• Buyers – worried the house they fancy will be overrun and deemed un-mortageable
• Developers – looking to get on with their big, new project
• Surveyors – reporting the bad news to the bank or building society
• Estate Agents – anxious about holding a sale together
• Quantity surveyors – urgently requiring a price for its removal
• Lenders – worried about their property portfolios
• Journalists – looking to fill a column or two
However, here at Knotweed HQ we’re never fazed by a new sighting. We see more than most. Not a day goes by without us traipsing through dead brown canes, nearly twice our height, or new asparagus like tips peeping through the undergrowth.
We see infestations the size of a small table. By contrast just the other day we stumbled across about 2.5 acres of it. That’s enough space to fit in 38 tennis courts and a small car park.
It enters our virtual world too. People call us and say, “Please can I send you a picture of my garden? Is it knotweed?” We have thousands of knotweed pictures.
Our usual approach is to go on the offensive. We’ve been reassuring the Great British Public on live radio this week and in the press, that knotweed can be defeated. We’ve corrected as many myths as possible, in between the DJ and traffic reports from the North Circular. (Sorry, but pouring salt, diesel or even Chanel No. 5 down the canes will not kill it. It might rest a while but it will be back. If you’re serious you’ll need the experts.) We’ve even been asked to talk to politicians at Westminster.
We must be some of the few people that actually relish the challenge of taking on a decent infestation, large or small.
So…the new Japanese knotweed season is most definitely here. We’re ‘tooled up’ with new staff, new vehicles and new equipment. We have improved Guarantees; insurance backed by a rated insurer no less. Better legal backup, when owners of adjoining land try to pretend it’s not their knotweed that’s coming under the fence.
We will respond to all reports and act on all sightings. We will gather all necessary intelligence, we will target and destroy. We have guys on our Ops Team that can smell knotweed from 100 metres away. Clients tell us they’ve seen knotweed visibly wilt when they tiptoe up to it and whisper, ‘I’ve just told Environet about you.’
Knotweed does not survive against Environet, large or small. We're planning our Japanese knotweed eradication offensive. It may be causing anxiety across the nation but here at JKHQ we’re ready. Bring it on.
(If you have been affected by this article and would like to talk to someone about invasive weeds threatening your patio or building plot please dial 01932 868700 and ask for an expert).